CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES

Martin Luther King Jr's - What is equality

2012-01-17T11:22:00.000Z

To resolve conflict we need to celebrate our similarities and differences.

In honor of Martin Luther King Jr's life, I'd like to
invite you to embrace this paradox -

You and I are equal.
You and I are different.
You and I are the same.

This combination moves mountains, shifts cultures,
and makes heroes for the ages.

You and I are equal. My dreams are as important as yours.
Your pain is as vivid to you as mine is to me. My differences
from you do not make me inferior. You may not understand me.
You may not feel what I feel, but what I feel is just as important.
Sounds easy, actually difficult. All human children have an instinct
of "me first." It's a survival instinct. But how do you mature out of that?

You and I are different. "Equal but different" can be difficult to process.
When we find people equal to ourselves, we tend to assume that they
are the same. But they're not. That's the paradox. You and I are each individuals,
with our own experience, our own needs, and our own freedoms.
Appreciate that I am different from you, and that the way I see the world
is different from the way you see it.

You and I are the same. Once you appreciate someone's difference
and their equality to you, with what emotion, what energy do you act
on that insight? Is it simply an intellectual observation? Or does it change
the way you live? This is where Dr. King became a leader for all ages.
He insisted not only on equality, but on brotherhood. In other words,
there is an underlying passion and love for the other's being. It's not
just about tolerating differences. It's about appreciating them, relishing them,
and protecting your brother's or sister's right to be who they are. Beneath
the difference and equality, there is universal love.

Organisations at Risk of Huge Costs who do not Protect Lone Workers.

2011-08-09T11:02:00.000+01:00

Employers must consider every possibility when assessing the risk to Lone Workers including the impact risk to business.

Safety has been pushed to the top of the corporate agenda by newly introduced legislation that threaten grave legal and financial consequences for those not exercising an adequate ‘Duty of Care' for staff exposed to risk whilst operating as Lone Workers. The potential cost to UK business is far more than the current £20 billion loss in productivity caused by 34 million work days caused as a result of sickness and accidents in the UK annually. It is important to note that fines imposed after prosecution are not covered by insurance and any public prosecution also results in a full and very public investigation process that carries associated additional losses to management time, increased stress on directors of prosecuted organisations, and a serious impact to staff morale. Furthermore if a case of inadequate protection was found to be successful large fines (estimated to be between 2.5% and 10% of turnover) and the resulting adverse publicity that could potentially be handed down by the courts to both companies and individuals could quite easily result in companies becoming overwhelmed forcing them out of business.

There is an additional hidden risk and cost to businesses in the form of legal expenses and out of court settlements required to meet compensation claims brought by staff on the increasing emergence of a risk -free, ‘no win, no fee' arrangement.

The new law which applies to every organisation within the UK, provides an effective route to securing a conviction in the event of a fatality, if it can be proved that a company was in breach of the ‘Duty of Care' owed by the organisation to its workers by virtue of the way in which its activities are managed or organised. The new Act aims to examine in detail the underlying culture of the organisation and its approach to assessing the risk to workers whilst at the same time providing a comprehensive and far reaching description of what ‘Duty of Care' is required to be provided by organisations. Organisations must take seriously that in scrutinising an organisation's implementation of its ‘Duty of Care' where there is alleged non-compliance, direct comparison to peer organisations would be used as a tool to assist the authorities in securing a successful prosecution.

The penalties for breaking the new law are onerous including; unlimited fines, a Remedial Order to change working practices and a far reaching Publicity Order whereby convicted firms would be directed to publicise their own short comings and guilt for the benefit of the rest of the community!

Employer responsibilities to protect lone workers:

1. Robust Lone Worker Policies and Operating Procedures.

2. Lone Worker Trail - Tracking and Accountability.

3. Lone Worker Training Programme (including regular refreshers).

4. Continuous Risk Assessment Reporting.

5. Incident Reporting Process.

Do you have a question about any of these elements? Contact us today.

Avoid & Defuse Conflict 1-Day course

2011-07-25T11:36:00.008+01:00

3rd November 2011 - Charnock Richard M6 J27/28

Book

Learn how to manage conflict naturally, without needing to think about it, who ever you are dealing with.

At the end of this course you will notice that you have increased your ability to…

Master unique techniques to avoid and defuse conflict
Use skilled language patterns that defuse situations
Identify ‘the bait’ and respond skilfully
Employ a staggeringly effective ‘fear control’ technique that will enable you to stay calm
Manage conflict to achieve better outcomes
Stop aggressive people in their tracks
Verbalise your needs and gain respect
Resolve staff issues quickly and effectively
Pass on easily learnt techniques to your team
Exude confidence when dealing with situations

This course is a rare opportunity for you to learn something special. These skills will become an integral part of your process so that you can deal with situations more effectively.

Session	Knowledge	Benefit
BC dynamic circle ™	Flexible options model	Creative solutions
Catch up stream	The bigger picture	Avoid escalation
Identify the ‘Bait’	Notice the triggers	Proactive methodology
Environmental Risk	Tactical awareness	Stay safe
BC assertion model ™	How to verbalise your needs	Direct communication
Language Patterns	Language skills to defuse	Calm negotiation
Fear control	How to remain calm at all times	Stay calm & in control
Practical application	Real-life strategies	Take away solutions
Future development	Options to increase personal skills	Accelerate learning

Training venues

We hand pick all our training venues for the high standard of facilities and corporate hosting. We understand the importance of the training environment. Refreshments and a light lunch is included.

Schedule

All courses run 9.30am to 4.30pm

Fees - Special Early Bird Price! Save £60*

(Contact us for special rates when booking two or more delegates)

£238.00 + VAT * when prepaid before 30th September

How to book your place Book

2011-07-19T11:28:00.016+01:00

PMVA TRAINING Provider to NHS/Private Health Care- PMVA Level 1,2 and 3

_________________________________________________________

Blue Concept Training provide the full range of PMVA Training (Prevention and Management of Violence and Aggression). All our trainers are qualified and accredited by the General Services Association (GSA).

PMVA training delivers both de-escalation skills and physical breakaway techniques. The GSA training model is the chosen vehicle to train NHS staff in all the skills they require to remain safe and have the confidence to manage conflict situations. This training is also highly appropriate to private care providers.

PMVA Levels 2 & 3 include physical restraint techniques that are all fully risk assessed and suitable for a wide range of patients.

Blue Concept Training can provide anything from individual courses to complete programmes. This represents a flexible and cost effective approach to PMVA delivery; that does not place an additional burden on clinical staff.

Bullying at Work in the Public Sector

2011-06-20T10:10:00.000+01:00

Six out of 10 public sector workers across the UK have been bullied, or witnessed bullying, over the past six months.

The survey of 6,000 staff for trade union Unison, also found one in four workers say that staff cutbacks have led to workplace bullying - double the number from two years ago - and around half say they would be too scared to raise concerns during the period of cuts.
A third (35%) of employees are being bullied at work across the UK, with many more witnessing it (a further 27%). London had the highest number of workers, who had been bullied, or witnessed bullying - at 83%.
The impact on the health of staff is revealed, as the bullied workers say it has led to mental stress, anxiety, anger and lowered motivation. However, more than half say they will stay in their jobs and suffer in silence - compared to only a quarter of staff in 2009.
Just under three in 10 (28%) said it was because of a change in line manager, 18% said it was a change in senior line manager and 21% thought it came as a result of a recent change in job. Just under a quarter (23%) said it was because new employees are coming into the section. Only 39% are confident their organisation will take cases of bullying seriously.
The top reactions of workers who had been bullied were anger, lowered motivation, feeling undermined, anxiety or mental stress, powerlessness and isolation. More than four out of 10 (43%) of the bullied workers have looked for another job with the employer, 58% of the bullied workers have considered leaving their jobs, 53% have considered staying in their job and doing nothing about the bullying and 23% have considered legal action.
In 2009, 25% said they would stay in their job and do nothing. Of the 27%, who have witnessed bullying at work in the last six months - 47% did something directly to help the bullying stop, 23% were worried about becoming a target themselves, 18% say fears for their job security hindered their helping, 30% say it lowered commitment to their manager and 40% say it lowered commitment to their organisation. 99% did not think the bullying was justified.
Dave Prentis, Unison's general secretary, said: "Workers are stuck in a living hell, as they are faced with a double whammy of cuts and bullying.
"Our results show that bosses are failing to clamp down on workplace bullying and staff are too scared to raise concerns in the current climate of staff and job cuts. There is more pressure than ever from management and the levels of stress are soaring.
"The survey shows that in the last six months the Government's cuts agenda is hitting people hard. We fear that bullying will only continue to rise, as the cuts bite further, leading to long-term mental and physical health problems. Staff will be unable to carry out their jobs and will be pushed into taking sickness absence, so it makes economic sense for employers to clamp down hard on the bullies.
"This survey goes a long way to dispel the myth the Government is currently peddling, that there is no need for health and safety legislation. We need legislation to put a stop to millions of workers suffering in silence.
"The Government must rethink its savage cuts agenda, or see workers' health and efficiency deteriorate. It is more important than ever that workers join a union, as this may be their only point of call for help." T
he survey was carried out by the Centre for Organisation Research and Development (CORD) at Portsmouth Business School during May 2011.
The highest sector groups for bullying:

36% of local government workers
32% of higher education workers
33% of further education workers
31% of police staff
35% of school staff

Source: http://www.hrmagazine.co.uk

Blue Concept Training deliver Bullying & Harassement Training and Conflict Management Coaching for Managers and Team members

Managing Difficult Telephone Conversations 1-Day course

2011-05-24T06:56:00.000+01:00

Book

Context

Conflict Management Training is essential for people who communicate predominantly via the telephone. This training will develop the skills of your staff; the techniques that they will learn will enhance customer care while maintaining the professional branding of your organisation. Our Managing Difficult Telephone Conversations training recognises the important differences between face-to-face interactions and the limited sensory environment that communicating on the telephone presents.

Target audience/roles

Call centre staff, reception staff, switchboard personnel, customer service agents, customer complaint departments, enforcement officers, benefits and housing sections.

Blue Concept Training programmes focus on developing the skills to manage real life situations. Our experience is that participants are looking for effective tools and proven responses to deal with the common situations that they face every day. During the training we will look for what you already do that already works and make it better.

Key skills that participants will learn:
How to manage aggressive and hostile callers
How to structure the call in order to remain in control
Staggeringly effective technique to remain calm
How to create empathy and rapport
Positive resolution of all calls

Session	Knowledge	Benefit
Communication medium	The challenges this presents and why	Reduce barriers to communication
Best practice for inbound calls	Step-by-step process that works	Review existing practice
Customer behaviour reasons	Understand the drivers	Develop appropriate response
BC dynamic circle ™	Flexible options model	Creative solutions
Catch up stream	The bigger picture	Avoid escalation
Identify the ‘Bait’	Notice the triggers	Proactive methodology
Strategies to respond	Explore a range of strategies	Answers at fingertips
Recognise state	Acknowledge the customers’ state	De-escalation of conflict
BC assertion model ™	How to verbalise your needs	Direct communication
Working within standards	Understand expectations and application	Consistent approach
Language Patterns	Language skills to defuse	Calm negotiation
Voice control	How to use good tonality	Empathy and lead customer
Fear control	How to remain calm at all times	Stay calm & in control
Dealing with the verbal bully	Why and how to effectively respond	Remain in control
Call debrief	Stress management	Focus on the good aspects
Incident reporting	Corporate & personal responsibility	Manage customer expectations
Practical application	Real-life strategies	Take away solutions
Future development	Options to increase personal skills	Accelerate learning

Training venues

We hand pick all our training venues for the high standard of facilities and corporate hosting. We understand the importance of the training environment. Refreshments and a light lunch is included.

Schedule

All courses run 9.30am to 4.30pm

Fees

£250.00 + VAT (Contact us for special rates when booking two or more delegates)

Preparing your team for difficult telephone conversations...

2011-05-20T11:22:00.002+01:00

The Pay and Benefits Review - 'The Single Status Agreement' has taken councils across the country a significant amount of time to implement due to its size and complexity and many are still not at the implementation stage.

The aim of the review was to ensure that schools and the council:

• have a modern, affordable pay and reward strategy

• have open and transparent pay systems

• have a harmonised set of terms and conditions for all employees

• provide fair and equitable pay for employees

• do not treat any employee groups unfairly

The practical out-spinning of this process on an individual employee level may mean a change in rates of pay, hours, terms, how expenses are calculated and other benefits.

We have recently worked with a Pay and Benefits team who as part of their preparation decided to equip everyone who might take calls with additional skills to manage emotionally charged conversations. The employees who experience changes to their pay and benefits will very often feel concern, anxiety and frustration. Our client wanted to be sure that any calls were handled in a calm and professional manner. The training provided the team with skills to remain in control of the call, to deal with everyone equally and not to be browbeaten by senior employees on higher grades.

The training was also designed to empower the call takers and give them the confidence to do their job to the very best of their ability.

Our client’s aim was to ensure that even those internal customers who did not like the information they received that they would at least feel that they had been treated in a fair and professional way.

Conflict Management Strategies for Managers - Course Success!

2011-05-10T10:07:00.004+01:00

We received some great feedback from the participants on Friday's course. One of the models that proved to be really useful in understanding team dynamics and how to manage difficult patterns was Karpman's Drama Triangle. This is a great model to help managers notice the learned reactions of people in their team. When you are able to spot the behaviour you can introduce a different approach to shift the roles.

During the day we worked through a number of actual examples so that the participants could make some powerful changes when they got back to the office. A number of participants commented that they had been struggling with a specific issues with team members for years and now they could see a way to make a positive impact on the situations.

We are running more 'Conflict Management Strategies for Manager' courses in the NW and NE during September. Let us know if you would like to be kept informed of dates or you would like to know more about our in-house courses Just ask here we will be pleased to help

Conflict Management Strategies for Managers

2011-04-06T11:37:00.068+01:00

One-Day Training Course 6th May 2011 – M6 J27/28

Are you still wrestling with the difficult behaviour of a team member or is there a manager on your team who would benefit from a new approach?

All managers get involved in conflict. When you equip them with the very best skills…

They deliver the very best results, better performance, improved team morale and reduced absence.

Course deliverables...

Strategies and solutions to a managers' biggest challenges
Techniques to remove barriers to team performance
How to transform the confrontational behaviour of supervisors/colleagues
Overcome the fear of conflict and confrontation
Powerful ways to influence conflict outcomes
Manage conflict in a positive way to gain better outcomes

Registration closing date 29th April

Easily accessible manager training at a venue local to you. (M6 J 27/28) Tap into the very best training on an individual delegate basis. Targeted investment – train only the specific managers who will most benefit from the course content.

For more details, costs and full course overview contact us:

Contact Form - click here

T:01461 338 256

Avoid conflict as a project Leader- 'Bathtub Model'

2011-03-01T16:18:00.000Z

Helpful clip by Edward Muzio for any project leaders. So often in business much of the conflict we experience with colleagues is a result from poor frame setting or how we set expectations. Edward's 'Bathtub model' defines the issues well.

How to deal with passive aggressive behavior

2011-02-28T15:38:00.001Z

People who exhibit passive aggressive behavior may or may not recognise what they do or why they behave in this certain way. Let’s look at some examples of passive aggressive behavior, what their motivations may be and how to deal with someone who uses this behavior.

People who have a passive aggressive personality tend to obstruct or punish people around them. For example rather than verbalising that they do not want to do something by simply saying “I would rather not do that” they may just turn up late to a meeting, or raise minor excuses that prevent them from doing what is required. A frequent response of the personality type is to play the ‘underdog’ or ‘victim’.

The person using this personality trait may feel undervalued, inadequate, bitter and passed-over in terms of position. This may be a subconscious response that reflects their life view. The motivation of such actions is complicated and not necessarily purposed but a response to how the person feels.

It is important to recognise the negative influence and power that this behaviour can have on an organisation.

This person rarely displays direct confrontation and so the behaviour can engender sympathy from some colleagues, never the less it will control outcomes. It is also harder to challenge because small subtle resistance can be difficult to identify as confrontation and may be mistaken for a mild case of poor performance. Passive aggressive behaviour can be as destructive, if not more so, as outward direct aggression and confrontation.

How to deal with passive aggressive personality traits presents a big challenge. Firstly we have to recognise that is what we are dealing with and that he person is not a ‘victim’. You do not have to wrap them up in cotton wool and protect them. When we yield to this type of personality we fuel the behaviour and encourage inappropriate control.

Challenge the behavior and not the person. If someone promises to help you on a project and then they are repeatedly late or ill-prepared it is important to challenge the behaviour to expose the lack of congruence. You can’t say that you want to do everything to move the project along and then not do your bit.

The process – for example you might say, “John you voiced your full support when we agreed to take on this project, however I have noticed that on the last two meetings you have arrived x minutes late and that you have not completed the tasks agreed.” Now you can challenge the motive behind the behavior, “tell me John is there something on your mind regarding this project, for example would you have preferred to not been involved?” Always offer solutions, saving-face options and state what type of behavior you would prefer.

Passive aggressive people hide behind subtle under current-messages; a direct challenge will often flush them out. It is important to encourage open honest exchange of views. If someone is treating you in this way you need to think of it as if they were using an overtly aggressive approach. This behaviour is no less acceptable.

When you are faced with a colleague who is impacting on the performance of the team you may wish to consider other options.

Lone Worker Safety - Importance Highlighted

2011-02-17T11:05:00.000Z

Cotswold Geotechnical Holdings yesterday (15th Feb 2011) became the first company in the UK to be convicted of the offence of corporate manslaughter, in a test case that will cause waves in the industry. All organisations should consider if their employees are at risk and take steps to minimalise that risk. One particular area that employees are particularly vulnerable is when they are a lone worker.

This tragic case of junior geologist, 27-year-old Alex Wright died in September 2008 when investigating soil conditions in a deep trench on a development plot in Stroud when it collapsed and killed him. The prosecution’s case was that Wright was working in a dangerous trench because Cotswold Geotechnical Holdings’ systems had failed to take all reasonably practicable steps to protect him while working in that way. In convicting the company, the jury found that its system of work in digging trial pits was wholly and unnecessarily dangerous. The company ignored well-recognised industry guidance.

The Corporate Manslaughter and Homicide Act 2007 came into force on 6 April 2008. The law makes it an offence for an organisation to manage or organise its activities in such a way as to cause a person’s death, where such management or organisation amounts to a gross breach of a duty of care. An organisation will, however, only be found guilty if the way in which its activities are managed or organised by its ‘senior management’ is a substantial element in the breach of duty.

Lone Worker Safety

This is an appropriate time to re-examine if your lone worker safety procedures are robust and that your employee’s are actively using the tools in place. Is it possible that a lone worker who gets into difficulty might not be picked up by the system? Do you have an adequate lone worker trail? Are your lone workers fully trained in lone worker safety and managing conflict?

Blue Concept Training provide a FREE ten point consultation that will interrogate your systems and procedures so that you may have 'peace of mind' that your lone workers are fully protected. more...

Conflict Resolution Training now available in...

2011-01-18T10:02:00.000Z

To view Conflict Training available select the UK centre for more details:

Conflict Resolution Training in Glasgow
Conflict Resolution Training in Edinburgh
Conflict Resolution Training in Carlisle
Conflict Resolution Training in Newcastle
Conflict Resolution Training in London
Conflict Resolution Training in Liverpool
Conflict Resolution Training in Birmingham
Conflict Resolution Training in Oxford
Conflict Resolution Training in Worcester
Conflict Resolution Training in Leicester
Conflict Resolution Training in Nottingham
Conflict Resolution Training in Manchester
Conflict Resolution Training in Preston
Conflict Resolution Training in Lancaster
Conflict Resolution Training in Derby
Conflict Resolution Training in York
Conflict Resolution Training in Leeds

Quality Leadership Avoids Conflict...

2010-10-26T16:14:00.000+01:00

A colleague of mine recently sent these principles shared by Jack Welch who is a respected business leader and writer. Welsh is quoted as proposing these fundamental leadership principles (notably these principles are expanded in his 2001 book ‘Jack: Straight From The Gut’):

1. There is only one way – the straight way. It sets the tone of the organisation.
2. Be open to the best of what everyone, everywhere, has to offer; transfer learning across your organisation.
3. Get the right people in the right jobs – it is more important than developing a strategy.
4. An informal atmosphere is a competitive advantage.
5. Make sure everybody counts and everybody knows they count.
6. Legitimate self-confidence is a winner – the true test of self-confidence is the courage to be open.
7. Business has to be fun – celebrations energise and organisation.
8. Never underestimate the other guy.
9. Understand where real value is added and put your best people there.
10. Know when to meddle and when to let go – this is pure instinct.

As a leader, your main priority is to get the job done, whatever the job is. Leaders make things happen by:

* knowing your objectives and having a plan how to achieve them
* building a team committed to achieving the objectives
* helping each team member to give their best efforts

Jack is now a well-sought speaker, as he turned the fortunes of GE in the States during the 80’s and 90’s. He made some enemies along the way because of some of his methods, but he has been widely recognised as one of the most influential management thinker of the 20th century.

Although not directly related to Conflict Management these principles represent an interesting take on how to avoid team conflict within an organisation.

Three Mistakes we Make with Difficult People

2010-10-18T17:41:00.002+01:00

When we manage difficult people there are three mistakes that can make a situation ten times worse. Learn three alternatives that will help you achieve the results you need.

I recently reflected on a nugget of wisdom my friend shared with me. I was discussing my frustration at the poor behaviour of my dog Meg, who is a Border Collie. My friend and I both own Border collies. Any Collie owner will testify to the strong ‘will’ of this particular breed. However my friend has this to say, ‘there is no such thing as a poorly behaved dog, just a poorly behaved owner’. Anyone who has watched an episode of the ‘Dog Whisperer’ will hear the truth in this statement.

How we respond to a difficult person and the approach that we use will determine the outcome. This process is applicable to a difficult colleague, difficult person, a child or even a dog. My point is that you must focus on the outcome and not on the negative behaviour.

How we interact with a difficult person in the work environment will have an impact on the capability of the whole team. A manger’s job is not to disown any responsibility under the guise of he/she is “just a ‘difficult person’ there is nothing I can do”. A mangers job is to take responsibility and do everything possible to help the ‘difficult person’ to be better and do a better job. Mangers must also take responsibility for their own responses.

Three mistakes that managers often make are that they:

Make a direct challenge

If you invite the ‘difficult person’ into your office for a chat and then proceed to directly challenge their behaviour, do not be surprised if they become defensive. If you use lots of statements that begin with the word ‘you’ the person will become offended and the chance of achieving any long-term change will be minimal.

To be successful avoid statements that apportion blame and involve accusation. Be careful not to use ‘you’ statements. Check out this assertion model if you need more tips.

Focus on the person and not the behaviour

When we make it personal by attacking the person’s personality, attitude or values they will always resist. Even when they submit to your authority and on the outside they appear to be taking your points on board you can bet that you will not see lasting change.

When you need to challenge their behaviour verbalise the outward expression. Focus on the behaviour that you observe and the consequences. Remember it is the behaviour that you wish to change not the personal drivers.

Tell them what you ‘don’t want’.

It is really important to focus on the preferred behaviour. When we focus on what we don’t want we are simply reinforcing the negative behaviour. For example, ‘don’t do such and such’, ‘don’t do X’.

What I would like to encourage you to do is to identify the preferred behaviour or action that you desire. This is a simple language technique but it is really powerful, ‘I would PREFER that in the future you [identify the preferred behaviour]’

And finally, another leaf out of my dog training metaphor, please remember to praise when you gain the change of behaviour you desire. It is so important to reinforce the behaviour change with praise.

How to De-Escalate Conflict by Using 'Their' Words

2010-10-11T11:11:00.001+01:00

You will be familiar with the phrase ‘they speak my language’ and very often we will experience that feeling of being ‘connected’ literally because that person is using our language. How can we use this in practice to deescalate conflict? We all have a preference for the vocabulary we use in every day language. For example in the U.K we describe the length of tarmac on both sides of the road that we walk on as the pavement, however in the U.S. it would be referred to as the sidewalk. It is clear that if we want to communicate effectively and we were giving directions to an American visitor then using the word sidewalk will have an immediate and clear meaning for the visitor whereas pavement may be misunderstood.

So how does this help us deal with a hostile customer? Each customer will have their own idiosyncrasies in the language set that they use. One way to improve communication is to use their exact words. Notice the difference in the response of the customer in the example below.

Example1

Customer: ‘I have come in today to find out what has happened to my Giro?’

Staff: ‘You have come in about your unemployment benefit?’

Customer: ‘No my Giro, it hasn’t been paid!’

Example 2

Customer: ‘I have come in today to find out what has happened to my Giro?’

Staff: ‘You have come in about your Giro?’

Customer: ‘Yer, that’s right my Giro.’

In this example the customer responds in a more positive manner when the word Giro is reflected back. In first example the customer could feel as if the staff member had not really listened or that he/she is being officious and bureaucratic. I am sure that this was not the staff member’s intention but this is a good example of how we can miss the subtle communication enhancers; remember it is the small subtle strategies that make the difference.

Next time that you are dealing with a conflict situation notice the exact language that the hostile person uses and remember to reflect back their exact words. Now hear me clearly, I am not suggesting that you mirror aggressive language - but you can use the persons' vocabulary set. This will communicate at many levels that your attention is focused on their issue, that you understand their point of view and that you are actively listening. It is far more effective to de-escalate conflict than to have to manage the out-spinning of a fully charged situation.
In this article I have focussed on a customer facing example so that you can see the principal, of course this strategy will work just as well when you are dealing with friends, family or colleagues.

How to influence and change the difficult behaviour traits of a supervisor

2010-10-11T11:05:00.000+01:00

If you hand over control to a supervisor when you are out of the office and you usually receive bad feedback from your team upon your return then here are some ideas to help you to think about a new approach. You may want to consider how to influence this member of your team rather than using a direct challenge.

When you are trying to change the behaviour of a colleague a direct challenge is not always the best approach. A direct challenge will usually generate an aggressive reaction from the colleague especially if they cannot see that their behaviour is causing a problem. I have worked with many managers who have stated, that their attempts or the attempts of others in the organisation have failed to change the attitude of a difficult supervisor when using a direct approach.

Let’s look at three examples of difficult behaviour:

A deliberate avoidance of the more mundane tasks
Unnecessary delegation of tedious administration tasks to subordinates
Poor tonality and choice of language when speaking to subordinates

When someone is only in a position of power on the odd occasion, for example when the manager is not on site, they may have a tendency to abuse that power. Rather than directly challenging the behaviour I would like to encourage you to lead. Below are some suggestions on how you might influence the supervisor and encourage more positive behaviour.

1. Make sure that your colleague is aware that you do mundane tasks as well. Think about those jobs that you probably do automatically, just because they need doing. Clearly when you have other responsibilities you can not dedicate all your time to doing the work of others, but a shining example especially when drawn to the attention of the supervisor in question will add weight to your argument. Help the supervisor to understand the impact of you taking on some of these tasks on the team and how it engenders respect. Talk with your supervisor about your thinking behind these actions in the context of motivating the team and inspiring them to perform with commitment. Then agree that this is an exciting opportunity for you both to lead the team.

2. Having this moment of power is not an opportunity to hand down all the tedious tasks that your supervisor does not want to do. Ask the supervisor if there is any need to pass on work that they would normally do. Check that the extra management responsibilities will not dictate the need to pass on the mundane tasks. If the supervisor agrees that they have time to do the jobs without resorting to passing them on the there is no reason why they should do this in your absence. Even when there are jobs that need to be delegated then there is an effective way of requesting this support.

3. How do we deal with a supervisor who becomes a stereo typical sergeant major when you are not in the office. For this challenge we are going to use a story. Now, there isn’t sufficient time in this article to expand on how powerful stories can be when challenging behaviour but we can address this specific issue.

Sit down with the supervisor and tell them a story. Not a random story but a story that describes a similar situation where an interim manager behaves in a negative style. You may need to be creative and draw on your personal experience that you can relate or perhaps you will need to adapt the story so that the important message is clear, that the behaviour had a negative impact on the team. After you have described the situation you may be able to have a brief discussion and ask the supervisor to suggest ways in which the manager in the story could have done things differently. The power here is learning through a third part reference. This enables you both to discuss the situation as spectators so that you can influence the supervisor’s mind-set and behaviours.

You do not have address the issues directly the power is in the story!

Saying ‘No’ with Empathy to Avoid the Escalation of Conflict

2010-10-09T00:10:00.000+01:00

One of the potential times when a customer will become aggressive and unreasonable is when you have to say 'no' to them. When you have the power to deny what a customer wants or needs then this can be a trigger that will escalate a conflict situation. How you say 'no' can be key to the manner in which the customer receives the information.

I arrived at a London Heathrow Hotel recently, after checking in I entered the nearby lift, I passed the time of day with a fellow occupant and then wheeled my case down the corridor to find room 326. When I entered the room I was struck by the intrusive sound of a noisy extraction fan in the en-suite bathroom. After investigation I discovered that the fan would not switch off and I could only imagine a long sleepless night. When I contacted the receptionist I was staggered by his response, "No, it is not possible to change rooms" he stated that I was unable to change rooms because it was 'hotel policy' and he offered to send an engineer to have a look within the next two hours. Two hours after 10.30pm was too late and I felt that this was not acceptable. I was shocked and frustrated by the employee's lack of flexibility, but more than this, what really escalated the conflict was the unprofessional delivery of the 'No' message. This isn't because I am a conflict management trainer it is just that I expect professional customer service agents to be better than this when I am a customer.

Nobody likes to be told that they can't have something, especially if we feel that we have a 'right' to it. When you have to say 'no' to a customer it is essential that you demonstrate acknowledgment, empathy and provide options.

If you were on the receiving end of these statements I wonder which approach you would prefer?

"No that is not possible I am unable to help you because of the hotel regulations"

Or

"Mr X, I can see that you are upset about this, I am sorry but unfortunately I can't do anything about this at the moment however what I can suggest is..."

I am confident that you would prefer the second approach wouldn't you. Let us take a more detailed look at this response. Think about how you say 'No', what is the impact on the customer and how would you prefer to be informed if you were on the receiving end?
Let us look at the details of this example. In the first statement the customer's name is not used, there is no apology and the employee relies on the 'regulations' to relay the message. Let us break down the second example.
Mr X (demonstrates respect and effort) I can see that you are upset about this (recognition of state, rather than ignoring it helps the customer feel 'heard' and values) I am sorry (apology) but unfortunately I can't do anything (verbalise regret) about this at the moment (time expectation managed) however what I can suggest is..." (suggestions, alternatives and options provide hope of resolution and demonstrate effort).

If there are occasions when you have to say 'No' then it is a good idea to rehearse and develop effective responses that avoid escalation and help the customer resolve the situation.

Mark Millard is a professional trainer, consultant and speaker, specialising in conflict management and lone worker safety training. For more strategies and video clip of key conflict strategies visit http://www.conflict-training.org/

Why identifying the ‘Bait’ in a conflict is so important.

2010-09-30T16:02:00.001+01:00

Bait Identification

Below are some common examples of statements that hostile people use to gain control. For each statement below, determine whether it contains “bait”, and think about what the customer is really saying to the employee, the implied messages.

Examples of ‘Bait’ statements so that you can

avoid taking the ‘bait’.

"I want to speak to someone who knows what they are doing. Is there a man/ green person I can speak to?”

There are a number of implied messages in this statement, (bait) that we need to avoid. The person suggests that they want to speak to someone who ‘knows what they are doing’ this questions both authority and competence. Secondly the reference to the fact that only a certain type of person is acceptable.

“What do you think about this ridiculous policy then?”

The aggressor is trying to corral support for their point of view. But more than this is, if we agree with this statement we give the power and control to the aggressor.

“Who do you think you are? Now you listen to me I know Councilor Jones….”

This statement is purely designed to demean and intimidate; very often this is a bluff. Even if the aggressor does know someone of influence, you have nothing to be concerned about if you have done your job to the very, best of your ability.

“I want your supervisor’s number, so I can call to clarify that you are correct.”

More intimidation here! The aggressor is waiting to see if this threat will get you to bend and give in to the pressure.

“In your own time…..”

The sarcastic tone of this statement can be easily be deflated with a polite apology for the delay, even if you are not aware of a delay. Sarcasm is the poorest form of assertion, recognize it as such and move on.

The ‘Bait’ can intimidate, humiliate, corral support, demean, and gain power, however the purpose is more significant than this.

The ‘bait’ is designed to stimulate an immediate reaction and escalate the exchange. ‘Bait’ comes in many forms and when we learn to identify it we are able to avoid the intention. The aggressor may just be venting their anger and it is a much better response to not take the bait rather than pouring petrol on the fire.

The best way to deal with ‘bait loaded’ statements is remain confident and focus on solving the enquiry/issue. Always direct the person back to the issue they need to fix and the steps that are required. If you remain in a ‘help mode’ and continue to focus on the solution the aggressor will often run out of steam, especially if they can see that you are trying to help them and offer them possible solutions.

Remember that it is solving the customer’s issue that is most important and not winning the battle.

Why Managers should Lead and not Manage when Dealing with Conflict

2010-09-28T15:20:00.004+01:00

I was working with a new conflict coaching client recently who was having difficulty with an individual in their team. It was before the first session had really got going when my coaching client launched into a long list of the problems caused by the individual concerned. He described all the negative personality traits that this person demonstrated, how this person was inappropriate with other team members and he also detailed all the various attempts both he and other colleagues had tried to change this person. With large sigh he announced “nothing works, I don’t know what else to do,” and then added that the next step would probably involve official disciplinary action.

It is interesting that often when conflict involves one individuals behaviour that the general approach is to try and change that persons behaviour by directly challenging everything they do, not only that but something in human nature also wants the ‘problem person’ to admit their faults and change overnight.

As a conflict coach one of my first tasks is work with the client to set some goals. When I began to look at the goals and expectations of the coachee and when I asked him what he wanted to achieve it soon became apparent that his expectations were a little unrealistic for our first session. His expectation was that at the next meeting with this individual that he would be able to turn them around completely and that they would admit that their behaviour was out of order. I paused for a while and then encouraged my client to consider the goal in terms of difficulty. I asked my client on a scale of one to ten to measure the degree of difficulty that this individual would have with meeting this change of state. My client thought for a moment and then said “oh at least a ten if not more!” So, my client’s initial goal, to achieve in one session was that everything would be fixed and that the individual would eat humble pie and admit fault! After a chuckle the revelation hit him and he realised that the goal may be a little ambitious.

As a conflict coach, one of the things I have noticed is that when people face a personal conflict they are looking to get the other person to have complete and instant change. Let me ask you this, if someone challenges how you do things and then tells you to do something else, how receptive are you, I would guess not very receptive?

So now we have to look at achieving a change in a more subtle way. How can we lead this person and not manage them. Sometimes people do things that mangers tell them to do - where as people are more inclined to follow when leaders inspire them to do something. Leading isn’t about pushing it is about leading.

When we lead we set attainable goals, we get people to buy into our stories and set a shining example. Leading is especially important when we work with specific individuals who have proved difficult in the past. When we lead we get everyone to work with us, not for us. Joint goals are achieved together. However it is more important that we lead ourselves. When we learn how to effectively lead ourselves people will be drawn towards us. Working with a conflict coach enables the coachee to lead in this very specific area. The coach will provide, tools, strategies, accountability and inspiration. Fantastic results can be achieved with individual 1-1 support. Visit this link for more details

www.conflict-training.org/remote_conflict_coaching.htm

Remote Conflict Coaching

2010-09-27T13:47:00.002+01:00

When a manger is wrestling with a colleague or team issue and they feel like they have tried everything it may be time to consider another approach?

One-to-one conflict coaching has great benefits when an individual needs direct support with a specific issue(s). The coach will work alongside the coachee, each step of the way so that they are empowered to solve their own challenges.

The coaching relationship will be built on trust, confidentiality and accountability. The emphasis is on forward momentum, actions, behaviour-change and SMART goals. The coaching sessions will provide a backdrop of key skills in conflict management strategies and techniques. We will explore assertion, how to verbalise needs and management skills for dealing with interpersonal conflict.
This coaching assignment will focus on managing colleagues with poor performance.

The structure of the conflict coaching sessions will aim to:

Address agreed issues
Agree an overall plan and goals (mind map)
Agree clear outcomes for each session.
Review ongoing progression and issue resolution

Blue Concept Training employ the GROW coaching model (Goals, Reality, Options, Will/way Forward).
It is essential that the coachee is in full agreement with entering into the coaching process.

Format - Conflict Coaching

7 sessions over a period of 10 weeks intervals dependant on client progress & need

Each session to last approximately 45 minutes (private dedicated time required, access to e-mail, landline)

Session schedule agreed in advance in four week blocks

Coaching is confidential between the coach and coachee

http://www.conflict-training.org/remote_conflict_coaching.htm

Managers - How to Handle Conflict in the Workplace

2010-09-23T15:21:00.001+01:00

Every manger who works with a team will come across conflict issues. Conflict is not necessarily a negative thing. Sometimes conflict occurs when there is a difference of opinion and the ‘working out’ of that conflict can result in improved clarity, consensus and a stronger sense of direction. Conflict can also be very destructive, negative and harmful. Workplace conflict can be divided up into three broad categories:

1. Conflict between you (the manager) and a colleague

2. Conflict between colleagues

3. Conflict with customers

For the purpose of this article I am going to suggest some general rules for dealing with conflict as a manager and in future articles I will provide some specific strategies to cover each individual aspect.

As you sit reading this article I would like you to think about a conflict that you encountered recently. In a moment I would like you to close your eyes and imagine yourself back in that situation and to tap into all the feelings that you experienced. When you have taken a few moments to think about that time I want you to write down the first three emotions that you remember. Do this now.

After completing the exercise take your list of emotions and against each emotion write down one consequence that each feeling has on the conflict situation. Can you use the three emotions to positive effect or do you think that they are hampering your ability to resolve the conflict? Our emotions drive our responses, they drive how we communicate and they impact on our motivation to solve the issues.

If your emotions can be turned to positive use, you have one of the most important leverage tools already in your kit bag. With this motivation you have a great head start on resolving any conflict.

When your emotions are negative the first step is to recognise them as such and also the fact that in this state you will not be very likely to resolve anything. Take a look at your list again and reflect on the actual incident that you were thinking about. Behind each emotion there will most likely be an unmet need, fear or judgement. It may help to write these down next to each emotion. By taking these steps we can unearth the drivers behind your responses. The secret now is to think about what you need to do about the unmet need, fear or judgement.

It is possible to influence the other party and we will talk about strategies to do this in future articles, however the best place to start and the easiest person to influence is you. If you can change the way you respond you will always achieve better outcomes.

Take the challenge – think about this process each time you encounter conflict, be honest with yourself and begin to notice any patterns and change how you respond. Let us know what changes you experience by posting a reply to this post.

www.conflict-training.org

Free training? Yes, £500 towards individual employer training costs in Scotland

2010-09-10T15:47:00.003+01:00

Flexible Training Opportunities in Scotland

Flexible Training Opportunities gives Scottish businesses with under 50 employees the opportunity to apply for up to £5,000 towards employee training costs.

Skills Development Scotland are leading the way with help towards training costs.
Enhancing employees' skills will bring real benefits to your business including improved productivity and a stronger more confident workforce.

The types and levels of training that are eligible for support are:

Qualifications including individual units
Masterclasses
Learning based on National Occupational Standards
Industry recognised qualifications
First line supervisory management
Workshops
Taster sessions

Funding is available for up to 10 employees per business and the money is not a loan so there's no need to pay it back. Skills Development Scotland will refund up to 50% of each episode of employee training up to a maximum of £500 for each employee.
For example, if an episode of training costs £1200, Skills Development Scotland will refund £500. If it costs £300, they will refund £150.

Check out the details here http://tinyurl.com/3y7fruf

Toxic Conflict Between Colleagues? Perhaps You Need a New Approach?

2010-08-19T12:42:00.002+01:00

Conflict between colleagues can create a toxic environment. The atmosphere is divisive, obstructive and emotionally destructive. No business/team will perform effectively or achieve its goals while a conflict remains between team members. The costs associated with colleague conflict can be difficult to quantify and it is unfortunately the case that sometime the true cost only comes to light when the protagonist leaves the team.

One option is to consider a formal mediation process. This may be available internally or you may have to bring in trained mediation experts. Mediation is proven to be very effective and create long-term improvement.

Sometimes as a manger you may identify that a certain individual is experiencing difficulties because of their attitude and behaviours. When this is the case it is often beneficial to work with the individual rather than involving the whole team. This approach works well in a ‘coaching’ style interaction preferably facilitated by a trained expert who is outside the immediate team.

John, (name changed to protect identity) who is a senior manager in large architectural company has recently experienced a similar set of circumstances. Two senior colleagues who have very different styles of working have become increasingly antagonistic towards each other. Some examples of how these two people behave would be quite amusing,(like small children in the play ground) if the reality was not so serious; failing/refusing to pass on messages, not sitting next to each other in meetings, inappropriate replies to e-mails, over critical of professional creativity and corralling colleague support.

John became increasingly frustrated by the situation despite various attempts to address the situation both with individuals and by talking to them together. He involved HR in an advisory capacity and the two people involved began to consider filing an official grievance both against each other and against John. Based on John’s observations and discussions he realised that the conflict was mainly caused by Chris and so he began to research other methods of dealing with the situation before using the last resort of taking formal disciplinary action.

Remote conflict coaching seemed to provide a different approach that would enable Chris to discuss the situation with an independent advisor. Someone she could share her frustrations with and their drivers; more importantly someone who would unpack the conflict and provide a range of practical solutions. The coaching environment worked by weekly contact. The contact provides accountability coaching and attitude checks.

John observed that over a period of weeks that the whole scenario had changed beyond recognition. John commented, ‘It was like having a different person in the office.’ and that 'the atmosphere was transformed'. Remote conflict resolution coaching takes commitment from the coachee, they have to want to explore an alternative way of dealing with their personal differences. It is certainly preferable to all involved rather than taking the official action route.

Blue Concept training

Do you have a safety bubble when Lone working?

2010-08-06T12:10:00.002+01:00

Safety Bubble when working alone

Do you think about your safety bubble? What ever your role, where ever you work there will be times when you are ‘alone’. This may be as simple as when you making your way to your car at the end of the day. Now, we need to strike a balance here between paranoia and taking simple steps to maintain your safety bubble.

So what do we mean by ‘safety bubble’? Well think about it this way, when you are driving in the fast lane of the motorway (observing the national speed limit of course) you need to be alert at all times. By watching the cars behind you in all your mirrors and looking well ahead at the vehicle in front you can anticipate the traffic flow. Further more, if you manage the gap between you and the cars in front this will give you a safety margin or ‘bubble’ so that you can be prepared and have time to respond/react. This is like driving along with a great big washing up bubble surrounding the car, this is your ‘safety bubble’!

Now I would like you to think about the times that you are lone working. Lone workers have a responsibility to play an active role in their own personal safety. How can you create a ‘safety bubble’ so that you stay safe? Do you have a contact based at the office who you report your daily progress to? Do they know when you arrive at a client’s home and do you let them know when you are done? More importantly is there a procedure in place when you fail to report in?
If you usually walk home alone is there a colleague you could walk most of the way with? If not, do you choose the best route, is it well lit, do you avoid dark alleys and for the sake of a few minutes extra walk can you avoid being vulnerable.
These are simple steps that I want you to think about today so that you remain safe. If you are aware of how you manage your exposure to risk you will remain safe. http://www.conflict-training.org

How to avoid a conflict crisis

2010-07-07T12:03:00.000+01:00

Engage with people before a crisis
If you are dealing with a customer and you can see that they are getting agitated or you know that there is an issue that is going to be a source of conflict then take steps to address the issue before it escalates. Even an acknowledgement and a holding statement can take the steam out of the situation.

A course participant was telling us how they had observed a customer who she had recently interviewed join the queue, our ‘heroine’ noticed that he was clearly agitated and becoming impatient. Briefly excusing herself from the person she was dealing with, she acknowledged Mr. X, “Hello Mr. X it’s nice to see you again, I can see that you are waiting, I won’t be more than a few minutes and then I will be able to help you.” Now, this benefits worker couldn’t tell me if what she had done had defused a potentially aggressive conflict, however what she did say was that Mr. X clearly became calmer and sat down to wait.

Further more when she dealt with Mr. X he immediately apologised for interrupting, (even though she had taken the initiative).
Engage with people before a crisis, sometimes this involves a flexible approach, on many occasions it will make a big difference. http://www.conflict-training.org

Public sector training benefit from a free package of added value training products

2010-05-08T13:08:00.000+01:00

Public sector clients get more value to the pound

blue concept take the risk out of training procuerment so that Public sector training managers can buy with 100% confidence.
In the current climate it is more important than ever to get the very best value out of training. However interestingly many of our clients continue to invest in training their workers because they understand that their people development must not be the victim of budget cuts. In fact many of our Public Sector clients have increased their training programme so that their workers are equipped and well motivated. Many training managers recognise that as customers get squeezed their behaviour becomes more volatile and therefore staff need finely honed skills.

Blue concept training are pleased to announce our ‘New Client’ package that includes:
FREE: Consultation and conflict management training needs analysis (usually £195)
FREE: Client centred course development. (usually £105)
FREE: 12 months e-mail support for all participants (usually £14.99 pp)

This great package and our innovative industry guarantee that means that you have nothing to risk and everything to gain.

Available now to all Public Sector training managers

Conflict Resolution Training now available in...

2010-03-08T10:39:00.002Z

Conflict Resolution Training in Worcester
Conflict Resolution Training in Edinburgh
Conflict Resolution Training in Glasgow
Conflict Resolution Training in Stoke
Conflict Resolution Training in London
Conflict Resolution Training in Nottingham
Conflict Resolution Training in Birmingham
Conflict Resolution Training in Oxford
Conflict Resolution Training in Worcester
Conflict Resolution Training in Leicester
Conflict Resolution Training in Nottingham
Conflict Resolution Training in Blackburn
Conflict Resolution Training in Bristol
Conflict Resolution Training in Dumfries
Conflict Resolution Training in Coventry
Conflict Resolution Training in Sunderland
Conflict Resolution Training in Newcastle Upon Tyne

Microsoft Outlook will not connect with BCM 2010 Problem

2010-02-16T10:29:00.056Z

This is a different type of conflict but we hope that the information will be useful…

We manage our customer data using BCM 2010 and on the whole it performs well. We love the integration with e-mails and recorded activity.

BCM in conflict with Outlook 2010.

Recently we experienced problems with Business Contact Manager 2010. It was flagging up an SQL database error and refused to open. Not only that but it completely disappeared from outlook navigation pane as if it didn’t exist.

We tried a number of solutions before the issue was resolved and to be honest we were getting a bit desperate:

Via windows 7 control panel clicked on add/remove software/ select BCM 2010 and change. The next option is to remove or repair. We tried repair with no result.
Removed BCM 2010 completely and did a fresh download. No result
Tried Office 2010 repair as above with BCM. No result
Googled the problem and discovered many people were having the same problems. Some talked about SQl repair, this was way above our heads
Tried mircosoft support, no result

You might try all these as possible options.

What fixed the problem for us was quite simple and I hope that it may work for you?

Open outlook 2010/ click File (top LHS)

and select options

Options/ select add-ins

(BCM is displayed in the navigation pane on this shot as we wrote this after the fix)

Bottom left drop down Manage add-ins drop down select disabled items and click go.

The pop-up below will display

(ignore the file listed in this example, we did!)

If BCM for Outlook or BCM Loader for outlook are disabled try selecting them and click enable.

Restart Outlook and hopefully BCM will be connected.

We do not profess to be software experts and cannot accept any responsibility for any changes you make to your system, all I know is that it worked for us and many sighs of relief went around the office.

Good luck!

Dealing with the aggressive behaviour of teenagers

2009-10-30T09:52:00.000Z

Do’s and don’ts

Dealing with teenagers in a public domain can be very frustrating but let's look at how the way we respond can impact on the situation. Okay, let’s jump straight in and look at some of the Do's and Don’ts when dealing with teenagers who exhibit aggressive behaviour.

DON’TS

• Confront in an aggressive manner

• Attack/criticise

• Attempt to engage physically, (even in a playful way)

• Impose your value system on them

• Use your reasons as leverage on them, theirs probably don’t match yours

• Expect a negative outcome, (what you focus on you usually get)

• Treat them like second class citizens, (regardless of behaviour)

• Expect every situation to have a positive outcome

• Make it personal

So how can we best deal with teenagers? Most teenagers pass through a stage of readjustment. They test boundaries, push the limits and are trying to work out who they are and how they fit in to the world. Kids this age want nothing more than to be significant. Significance may be achieved by being liked, often by doing the things that others want them to do! Significance may be achieved by being different, noticed or sexually active. Significance may be achieved by feeling powerful by exhibiting aggression and intimidation. Added to these emotions imagine if they have no family support, (for various reasons, including parents who have got to the end of themselves and can’t cope) imagine if the major influences on their life is their peer group, (gang) the media and so called ‘heroes’ not all of whom are wholesome.

This set of influences will also be effected by conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, oppositional defiant disorder and other teenagers problems.

So what can we do to manage situations involving teenagers?

DO’S

• Develop a rapport/relationship
• Use their name and volunteer yours
• Learn from previous incidents and take the positive strategies
• Remain calm
• Maintain calm, regular effective breathing
• Take time
• Identify the leader of a group and engage
• Step into their world, what’s going on for them
• Be very clear when defining boundaries
• Recognise that often anger/aggression is a secondary emotion
• Anger is often underpinned by fear or sadness
• Expect the best
• Provide face saving options
• Take it step by step and recognise the small victories
• Focus on the teenagers and not onlookers who will have expectations
• Be aware of personal safety
• Know when to disengage and get support
• Remember it’s not about winning, it's about outcome

It is no longer acceptable to give them a clip around the ear and send them on the way. We live in a very different society today and it is a society that we have all played a part in creating.

In this new society we need to be better, hone our communication skills and find new strategies. Conflict management is all about how we communicate and how we respond to situations, so have faith and use all your personal resources to gain better outcomes.

Blue Concept training - Conflict training specialists- Helping people manage difficult people.
http://www.conflict-training.org/

Resolving conflict in teams

2009-10-26T11:42:00.000Z

Resolving Conflict in Work Teams

A major advantage a team has over an individual is its diversity of resources, knowledge, and ideas. However, diversity also produces conflict. As more and more organizations restructure to work teams the need for training in conflict resolution will continue to grow. Varney (1989) reports that conflict remained the number-one problem for most of the teams operating within a large energy company, even after repeated training sessions on how to resolve conflict and how to minimize the negative impact on team members. One reason for this may be that mangers and other leaders within organizations are not giving the issue of resolving conflict enough attention. Varney's research showed that although most managers are aware of disagreements and have received training in conflict resolution, they seldom assign a high priority to solving conflict problems. With this in mind, it is critical that team members possess skills to resolve conflict among themselves.
Conflict arises from differences. When individuals come together in work teams their differences in terms of power, values and attitudes, and social factors all contribute to the creation of conflict. It is often difficult to expose the sources of conflict. Conflict can arise from numerous sources within a team setting and generally falls into three categories: communication factors, structural factors and personal factors (Varney, 1989). Barriers to communication are among the most important factors and can be a major source of misunderstanding. Communication barriers include poor listening skills; insufficient sharing of information; differences in interpretation and perception; and nonverbal cues being ignored or missed. Structural disagreements include the size of the organization, turnover rate, levels of participation, reward systems, and levels of interdependence among employees. Personal factors include things such as an individual's self-esteem, their personal goals, values and needs. In order for conflict to be dealt with successfully, managers and team members must understand its unpredictability and its impact on individuals and the team as a whole.
Conflict in work teams is not necessarily destructive, however. Conflict can lead to new ideas and approaches to organizational processes, and increased interest in dealing with problems. Conflict, in this sense, can be considered positive, as it facilitates the surfacing of important issues and provides opportunities for people to develop their communication and interpersonal skills. Conflict becomes negative when it is left to escalate to the point where people begin to feel defeated, and a combative climate of distrust and suspicion develops (Bowditch & Buono, 1997). Nelson (1995) cautions that negative conflict can destroy a team quickly, and often arises from poor planning. He offers this list of high potential areas from which negative conflict issues commonly arise:
Administrative Procedures: If the team lacks good groundwork for what it's doing, its members will not be able to coordinate their work. People Resources: If the team does not have enough resources to do the job, it is inevitable that some will carry too heavy a load. Resentment, often unexpressed, may build, so it is crucial that team leaders ensure adequate resources. Cost overruns: Often inevitable, cost overruns become a problem when proper measures are not taken. The whole team should know early on when cost becomes a problem so additional funding can be sought by the team. This way the problem can be resolved before it grows into a problem for management. Schedules: The schedule is highly consequential to the team's project and should be highly visible. All members should be willing to work together to help each other meet their deadlines. Responsibilities: Each team member must know what areas are assigned and who is accountable for them. Wish Lists: Stick to the project at hand and avoid being sidetracked into trying to fit other things into it. Wait and do the other things you would like to do after successful completion of the original project. Team members can and should attempt to avoid negative conflict from occurring. Being aware of the potential for negative conflict to occur, and taking the necessary steps to ensure good planning will help.

Conflict Training can help people focus on the overall outcome and not the immediate crisis...

2009-10-22T13:47:00.000+01:00

Look at this picture, and you can see where this driver broke through the guardrail, on the right side of the culvert, where people are standing on the road, pointing.

The pick-up was travelling about 75 mph, from right to left, when it crashed through the guardrail. It flipped end-over-end, bounced off and across the culvert outlet and landed right-side-up on the left side of the culvert, facing the opposite direction from which the driver was travelling.

The 22-year-old driver and his 18-year-old passenger were unhurt, except for minor cuts and bruises.

We don't always see the big picture when we are stuck in a conflict. When conflict presents with customers, colleagues, managers, family, friends it is easy to miss how fortunate we really are and focus on the immediate pain of the situation. Take a mental step back and review what you are trying to achieve in the context of the overall picture.

Now, look at the second picture below . . .

www.conflict-training.org

Discover twelve essential steps to manage workplace conflict

2009-10-14T16:38:00.000+01:00

2 hrs Skills Boost session for £9.99 per person?

Too good to be true? - we think it is too good for you to miss!

Give your staff the benefit of this two hour skill boost training session at minimum cost. Designed for front-line staff, managers and senior executives. This training is engaging, informative and skill rich.

Skill boost/package pdf

Benefits for participants...

Discover twelve essential steps to manage workplace conflict
Learn how to manage aggression effectively
Gain indispensable tools to manage conflict
Learn strategies to remain calm
Snappy & engaging effective skill boost session
How to identify root drivers and act on them
Refine existing skills and approach
Powerful introduction to conflict management skills
Fun approach encourages learning
Excellent vehicle for individuals to reflect on their response

More details... Skill boost/package pdf

How conflict impacts attitude...

2009-09-03T12:44:00.000+01:00

People as a rule don't plan to do a bad job, in fact most customer service agents we work with have a genuine wish to help. Very often the problem is when customer service agents become battle weary and tired and this is often a result of poor personal de-briefing habits. When conflict is a daily experience we need tools to manage our responses. What we focus on is what we see. If you focus on a few exchanges that didn’t go well, then the personal debrief is negative and destructive. It is far better to look at the negative and then look for one small change that may in the future drive towards a better outcome. Attitude is about what we believe about ourselves.Attitude is key when we manage conflict.Check out our approach to training people to retain the right attitude while retaining all customers. http://www.conflict-training.org

Conflict at work occurs – so what can a skilled manger do?

2009-06-04T12:36:00.000+01:00

You can’t win a conflict at work. Winning a conflict means getting the outcome 'you' want regardless of what the 'other' person wants. Since the underlying issue has not been solved, it will simply reappear later. Much better than winning a conflict at work is resolving it. Unresolved conflicts make people unhappy at work and can result in antagonism, break-down in communications, inefficient teams, stress and low productivity. Here are the essential steps to constructively resolve conflicts at work.

1. Realise that some conflicts are inevitable at work. Whenever people are committed and fired up, or change and new ideas are emerging, conflict and disagreement are bound to happen. This doesn’t mean you have to revel in conflict or create trouble just for the hell of it, but it does mean that when conflict happens it’s not the end of the world. It can be the beginning of an interesting learning process. Conflicts mean that people care enough to disagree strongly. The trick is not to allow the conflict to go on forever.

2. Handle conflicts sooner rather than later. Resolve a conflict when it starts, as it only gets worse with time. Conflicts at work arise not from something that was said, but from something that wasn’t said! Everyone’s waiting for the other to admit he’s wrong and gets more unpleasant after the conflict has stewed for a while. It's essential to interrupt the "waiting game" before it gets to that point.

3. Ask nicely. If somebody has done something that made you angry, or if you don’t understand their viewpoint or actions, simply asking about it can make a world of difference. Never assume that people do what they do to annoy or spite you. Sometimes there’s good reason why that person does what he or she does (even the things that really get on your nerves), and a potential conflict evaporates right there. Make your inquiry just that--an inquiry, not an accusation of any sort: “Say, I was wondering why ‘X’ happened yesterday” or “I’ve noticed that ‘Y’ often happens when we….. Why is that?” are good examples. “Why the hell do you always have to ‘Z’!” is less constructive. When we use the word you in the context of conflict at work we apportion blame that will put the person receiving the statement immediately on the defensive.

4. Invite the other person to talk about the situation. A hurried conversation at your desk between emails and phone calls won’t solve anything. You need an undisturbed location, face to face and the time to address the issue.

5. Observe. Identify what you see in neutral, objective terms. This is where you describe the facts of the situation as objectively as possible. What is actually happening? When and how is it happening? What is the other person doing and, not least, what are you doing? You’re only allowed to cite observable facts and not allowed to assume or guess at what the other person is thinking or doing. You can say, “I’ve noticed that you’re always criticizing me at our meetings” because that’s a verifiable fact. You can’t say “I’ve noticed that you’ve stopped respecting my ideas” because that assumes something about the other person.

6. Apologise. Apologise for your part in the conflict. Usually everyone involved has done something to create and sustain the conflict. Remember: You’re not accepting the entire blame, you’re taking responsibility for your contribution to the situation. It is okay to recognise and verbalise that you regret the situation.

7. Appreciate. Praise the other part in the conflict. Tell them why it’s worth it to you to solve the conflict. This can be difficult as few people find it easy to praise and appreciate a person they disagree strongly with, but it’s a great way to move forward.

8. Identify the consequences. What has the conflict led to for you and for the company? Why is it a problem? Outlining the consequences of the conflict shows why it’s necessary to resolve it. It also helps participants to look beyond themselves and see the conflict "from the outside."

9. Define an objective. What would be a good outcome? It’s essential to set a goal so both parties know the outcome they’re aiming for. That makes reaching the outcome a lot more likely.

10. Request. Ask for specific actions that can be implemented right away. For example: "I suggest that we introduce a new rule: At meetings when one of us suggest something and the other person disagrees, we start by saying what’s good about the idea and then say how it could be better. Also, if we start to attack each other as we have before, I suggest we both excuse ourselves from the meeting and talk about it in private instead of in front of the entire team. And, what do you say we have a short talk after our next project meeting to evaluate how it went? How does that sound?"

11. Train managers. Conflict at work can very often be avoided or defused by strong leadership. You can train managers to act swiftly and effectively. Mangers need to understand their own responses and not avoid situations while they are developing. Managers who lead and inspire who are sensitive to the needs of their team, will avoid much of the potential conflict in the work place.

For information on how we prepare managers for dealing with conflict at work visit www.conflict-training.org

Aspects that you should consider when conflict at work occurs
• It’s important that you come to a meeting with your co-worker prepared to listen carefully to the other person, even if it is difficult to do so. By the same token, ask the other person to listen respectfully to what you have to say, without interrupting.

• To further clarify the disagreement, a technique you can use is to have the other party write a bulleted list on a white board of conflicts and issues. Sit quietly while the person explains each bullet point. When the person finishes, go down the list, and restate the complaints in your own words, as accurately as possible. This way, the person knows that you've listened and understood. Then write down your list and reverse the process. Usually, just being clear on what issues underpin the conflict makes it easy to find a mutual solution.

• Inviting the other person to discuss the issue may be the hardest part of the whole process. It can be remarkably hard to take that first step. Do it anyway!

• There is no guarantee that the method described here will resolve your conflict at work. It may or it may not. But even if it doesn’t work you have the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve tried. You have risen above the conflict for a while and tried to address it positively and constructively. No one can ask more of you.

10 ways your public library can save you money

2009-04-28T13:23:00.000+01:00

For all our library clients here are some interesting ideas when promoting your service.For everyone else who reads this post, I would encourage you to take a fresh look at what libraries can offer you and your family.Libraries offer a great range of resources, many completely FREE.

At a time when we are all feeling the pinch it’s nice to know that you can go somewhere that offers you something for virtually nothing.
There’s evidence that when the economy is down library use increases and there are plenty of reasons why people turn to this invaluable service.
Here are just some of the many ways that public libraries can save all of us money and inspire and stimulate at the same time.
Here are 10 examples:

1. It’s estimated that borrowing instead of buying two books and two DVDs each month could save someone more than £30.

2. Planning a holiday or a day trip? Rather than buy a map or travel guide get one from the library.

3. Instead of a magazine subscription visit the library – some magazines can also be borrowed for up to a week.

4. School holidays can be expensive, but some libraries offer advice for parents on inexpensive things to do with the kids.

5. Socialising isn’t always cheap, but joining a reading group is a cost-free way of meeting people and broadening your mind. There are 95,000 people in library linked groups and the number of groups has doubled in the last four years.

6. You can learn a language for a fraction of the price you might pay otherwise if you borrow a selection of courses in audio format.

7. Why not take up a hobby that doesn’t cost you money? For instance you can research your family history at the local library with staff on hand to suggest useful sources?

8. There are plenty of free ways to keep babies and toddlers amused and stimulated through activities such as singing songs and rhymes and storytelling.

9. You might be using the internet for price comparison websites, but you can browse for free at the library and the staff can suggest some pages to look at.

10. Some library services let you borrow a smart meter to measure your how much electricity you use at home – useful knowledge if you want to make economies.

Evan Davis, BBC Dragon’s Den presenter, said: “It would be quite an unusual person who couldn’t find something to stimulate the mind or interest them at the local library

Alarm at rising attacks on council staff

2009-04-02T15:39:00.000+01:00

MORE than 1,000 council staff were attacked or abused while carrying out their duties last year, the Echo can exclusively reveal.

The figures have been released to the Echo under a freedom of information request to local authorities in Devon.

The incidents range from verbal assaults, physical attacks and threats of attack to threats with a weapon.

Devon County Council recorded the highest number of assaults on its staff — with 1,040 staff being threatened or attacked in 2008.

The authority's adult and community services department logged 700 complaints alone last year — a hike of almost 250 incidents in two years.

And staff working in the county council's children and young people's services — which includes schools — were the victim of an assault or abuse 335 times last year.

The council told the Echo the increase in assaults or verbal abuse within its adult social care department was the result of a drive to encourage staff to report incidents.

Exeter City Council staff were assaulted or attacked 16 times last year — almost double the previous year.

The highest number of incidents recorded involved staff in the council's parking enforcement department.

The city council told the Echo the increase was a result of the authority taking over parking enforcement duties from police.

A spokesman for the city council said: "The figures regarding the parking services relate to verbal abuse only rather than assaults.

"We encourage staff to report these and to fill out incident reports, and we refer matters to the police where appropriate. It is extremely regrettable that a small minority of the public feel it necessary to abuse staff who are only doing their job."

East Devon District Council revealed that eight of its staff had been the victim of an attack or abuse in 2008 compared to no employees suffering such incidents in 2006.

The incidents involved verbal abuse, threatening behaviour and physical assault in its housing, benefits, environmental health and civil enforcement departments. The authority also recorded eight such incidents in 2007 — including threats with weapons.

Mid Devon District Council was unable to provide the Echo with figures. They said their human resources department did not hold such records.

Attacks or abuse of council workers resulted in 23 days absence from work between 2006 and 2008.

Karen Williams, Exeter City branch secretary for Unison, said: "We are concerned about those employees who may be working unusual hours.

"It is really important council staff feel they are supported by their employer."

A spokesman for Devon County Council said: "The safety and wellbeing of our staff is paramount and we have robust policies, procedures and training sessions covering violence at work, lone working and personal safety."

A statement from East Devon District Council said: "The council will not tolerate any form of verbal, racial or physical abuse towards its employees and anyone who contravenes this policy could be subject to prosecution."

If you are a council worker who has been assaulted or suffered abuse while carrying out your duties, please contact us with your story. Contact

Source www.thisisexeter.co.uk

Earl Nightingale - The strangest secret

2009-04-01T11:23:00.000+01:00

Earl Nightingale was one of the first leaders in the personal success field. This is an article that he wrote on the 'The Strangest Secret' What does this have to do with conflict, well what we focus on is what we get!Well worth a read, I hope that you will be encouraged!

Some years ago, the late Nobel prize-winning Dr. Albert Schweitzer was asked by a reporter, "Doctor, what's wrong with men today?" The great doctor was silent a moment, and then he said, "Men simply don't think!"

It's about this that I want to talk with you. We live today in a golden age. This is an era that humanity has looked forward to, dreamed of, and worked toward for thousands of years. We live in the richest era that ever existed on the face of the earth ... a land of abundant opportunity for everyone.

However, if you take 100 individuals who start even at the age of 25, do you have any idea what will happen to those men and women by the time they're 65? These 100 people believe they're going to be successful. They are eager toward life, there is a certain sparkle in their eye, an erectness to their carriage, and life seems like a pretty interesting adventure to them.

But by the time they're 65, only one will be rich, four will be financially independent, five will still be working, and 54 will be broke — depending on others for life's necessities.

Only five out of 100 make the grade! Why do so many fail? What has happened to the sparkle that was there when they were 25? What has become of the dreams, the hopes, the plans ... and why is there such a large disparity between what these people intended to do and what they actually accomplished?

THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS

First, we have to define success and here is the best definition I've ever been able to find: "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal."

A success is the school teacher who is teaching because that's what he or she wants to do. A success is the entrepreneur who start his own company because that was his dream — that's what he wanted to do. A success is the salesperson who wants to become the best salesperson in his or her company and sets forth on the pursuit of that goal.

A success is anyone who is realizing a worthy predetermined ideal, because that's what he or she decided to do ... deliberately. But only one out of 20 does that! The rest are "failures."

Rollo May, the distinguished psychiatrist, wrote a wonderful book called Man's Search for Himself, and in this book he says: "The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice ... it is conformity." And there you have the reason for so many failures. Conformity — people acting like everyone else, without knowing why or where they are going.

We learn to read by the time we're seven. We learn to make a living by the time we're 30. Often by that time we're not only making a living, we're supporting a family. And yet by the time we're 65, we haven't learned how to become financially independent in the richest land that has ever been known. Why? We conform! Most of us are acting like the wrong percentage group — the 95 who don't succeed.

GOALS

Have you ever wondered why so many people work so hard and honestly without ever achieving anything in particular, and why others don't seem to work hard, yet seem to get everything? They seem to have the "magic touch." You've heard people say, "Everything he touches turns to gold." Have you ever noticed that a person who becomes successful tends to continue to become more successful? And, on the other hand, have you noticed how someone who's a failure tends to continue to fail?

The difference is goals. People with goals succeed because they know where they're going. It's that simple. Failures, on the other hand, believe that their lives are shaped by circumstances ... by things that happen to them ... by exterior forces.

Think of a ship with the complete voyage mapped out and planned. The captain and crew know exactly where the ship is going and how long it will take — it has a definite goal. And 9,999 times out of 10,000, it will get there.

Now let's take another ship — just like the first — only let's not put a crew on it, or a captain at the helm. Let's give it no aiming point, no goal, and no destination. We just start the engines and let it go. I think you'll agree that if it gets out of the harbor at all, it will either sink or wind up on some deserted beach — a derelict. It can't go anyplace because it has no destination and no guidance.

It's the same with a human being. However, the human race is fixed, not to prevent the strong from winning, but to prevent the weak from losing. Society today can be likened to a convoy in time of war. The entire society is slowed down to protect its weakest link, just as the naval convoy has to go at the speed that will permit its slowest vessel to remain in formation.

That's why it's so easy to make a living today. It takes no particular brains or talent to make a living and support a family today. We have a plateau of so-called "security." So, to succeed, all we must do is decide how high above this plateau we want to aim.

Throughout history, the great wise men and teachers, philosophers, and prophets have disagreed with one another on many different things. It is only on this one point that they are in complete and unanimous agreement — the key to success and the key to failure is this:

WE BECOME WHATWE THINK ABOUT

This is The Strangest Secret! Now, why do I say it's strange, and why do I call it a secret? Actually, it isn't a secret at all. It was first promulgated by some of the earliest wise men, and it appears again and again throughout the Bible. But very few people have learned it or understand it. That's why it's strange, and why for some equally strange reason it virtually remains a secret.

Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman Emperor, said: "A man's life is what his thoughts make of it."

Disraeli said this: "Everything comes if a man will only wait ... a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and nothing can resist a will that will stake even existence for its fulfillment."

William James said: "We need only in cold blood act as if the thing in question were real, and it will become infallibly real by growing into such a connection with our life that it will become real. It will become so knit with habit and emotion that our interests in it will be those which characterize belief." He continues, " ... only you must, then, really wish these things, and wish them exclusively, and not wish at the same time a hundred other incompatible things just as strongly."

My old friend Dr. Norman Vincent Peale put it this way: "If you think in negative terms, you will get negative results. If you think in positive terms, you will achieve positive results." George Bernard Shaw said: "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."

Well, it's pretty apparent, isn't it? We become what we think about. A person who is thinking about a concrete and worthwhile goal is going to reach it, because that's what he's thinking about. Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety, fear, and worry will thereby create a life of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing ... he becomes nothing.

AS YE SOW — SO SHALLYE REAP

The human mind is much like a farmer's land. The land gives the farmer a choice. He may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care what is planted. It's up to the farmer to make the decision. The mind, like the land, will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant. If the farmer plants too seeds — one a seed of corn, the other nightshade, a deadly poison, waters and takes care of the land, what will happen?

Remember, the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants — one corn, one poison as it's written in the Bible, "As ye sow, so shall ye reap."

The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant ... success ... or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal ... or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety, and so on. But what we plant it must return to us.

The problem is that our mind comes as standard equipment at birth. It's free. And things that are given to us for nothing, we place little value on. Things that we pay money for, we value.

The paradox is that exactly the reverse is true. Everything that's really worthwhile in life came to us free — our minds, our souls, our bodies, our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions, our intelligence, our love of family and children and friends and country. All these priceless possessions are free.

But the things that cost us money are actually very cheap and can be replaced at any time. A good man can be completely wiped out and make another fortune. He can do that several times. Even if our home burns down, we can rebuild it. But the things we got for nothing, we can never replace.

Our mind can do any kind of job we assign to it, but generally speaking, we use it for little jobs instead of big ones. So decide now. What is it you want? Plant your goal in your mind. It's the most important decision you'll ever make in your entire life.

Do you want to excel at your particular job? Do you want to go places in your company ... in your community? Do you want to get rich? All you have got to do is plant that seed in your mind, care for it, work steadily toward your goal, and it will become a reality.

It not only will, there's no way that it cannot. You see, that's a law — like the laws of Sir Isaac Newton, the laws of gravity. If you get on top of a building and jump off, you'll always go down — you'll never go up.

And it's the same with all the other laws of nature. They always work. They're inflexible. Think about your goal in a relaxed, positive way. Picture yourself in your mind's eye as having already achieved this goal. See yourself doing the things you will be doing when you have reached your goal.

Every one of us is the sum total of our own thoughts. We are where we are because that's exactly where we really want or feel we deserve to be — whether we'll admit that or not. Each of us must live off the fruit of our thoughts in the future, because what you think today and tomorrow — next month and next year — will mold your life and determine your future. You're guided by your mind.

I remember one time I was driving through e a s t e r n Arizona and I saw one of those giant earthmoving machines roaring along the road with what looked like 30 tons of dirt in it — a tremendous, incredible machine — and there was a little man perched way up on top with the wheel in his hands, guiding it. As I drove along I was struck by the similarity of that machine to the human mind. Just suppose you're sitting at the controls of such a vast source of energy. Are you going to sit back and fold your arms and let it run itself into a ditch? Or are you going to keep both hands firmly on the wheel and control and direct this power to a specific, worthwhile purpose? It's up to you. You're in the driver's seat. You see, the very law that gives us success is a doubleedged sword. We must control our thinking. The same rule that can lead people to lives of success, wealth, happiness, and all the things they ever dreamed of — that very same law can lead them into the gutter. It's all in how they use it ... for good or for bad. That is The Strangest Secret!

Do what the experts since the dawn of recorded history have told us to do: pay the price, by becoming the person you want to become. It's not nearly as difficult as living unsuccessfully.

The moment you decide on a goal to work toward, you're immediately a successful person — you are then in that rare group of people who know where they're going. Out of every hundred people, you belong to the top five. Don't concern yourself too much with how you are going to achieve your goal — leave that completely to a power greater than yourself. All you have to do is know where you're going. The answers will come to you of their own accord, and at the right time.

Start today. You have nothing to lose — but you have your whole life to win.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

30-DAYACTION IDEAS FOR PUTTING THE STRANGEST SECRET TO WORK FOR YOU

For the next 30-days follow each of these steps every day until you have achieved your goal.

1. Write on a card what it is you want more that anything else. It may be more money. Perhaps you'd like to double your income or make a specific amount of money. It may be a beautiful home. It may be success at your job. It may be a particular position in life. It could be a more harmonious family.

Write down on your card specifically what it is you want. Make sure it's a single goal and clearly defined. You needn't show it to anyone, but carry it with you so that you can look at it several times a day. Think about it in a cheerful, relaxed, positive way each morning when you get up, and immediately you have something to work for — something to get out of bed for, something to live for.

Look at it every chance you get during the day and just before going to bed at night. As you look at it, remember that you must become what you think about, and since you're thinking about your goal, you realize that soon it will be yours. In fact, it's really yours the moment you write it down and begin to think about it.

2. Stop thinking about what it is you fear. Each time a fearful or negative thought comes into your mind, replace it with a mental picture of your positive and worthwhile goal. And there will come a time when you'll feel like giving up. It's easier for a human being to think negatively than positively. That's why only five percent are successful! You must begin now to place yourself in that group.

"Act as though it were impossible to fail," as Dorothea Brande said. No matter what your goal — if you've kept your goal before you every day — you'll wonder and marvel at this new life you've found.

3. Your success will always be measured by the quality and quantity of service you render. Most people will tell you that they want to make money, without understanding this law. The only people who make money work in a mint. The rest of us must earn money. This is what causes those who keep looking for something for nothing, or a free ride, to fail in life. Success is not the result of making money; earning money is the result of success — and success is in direct proportion to our service.

Most people have this law backwards. It's like the man who stands in front of the stove and says to it: "Give me heat and then I'll add the wood." How many men and women do you know, or do you suppose there are today, who take the same attitude toward life? There are millions.

We've got to put the fuel in before we can expect heat. Likewise, we've got to be of service first before we can expect money. Don't concern yourself with the money. Be of service ... build ... work ... dream ... create! Do this and you'll find there is no limit to the prosperity and abundance that will come to you.

Don't start your test until you've made up your mind to stick with it. If you should fail during your first 30 days — by that I mean suddenly find yourself overwhelmed by negative thoughts — simply start over again from that point and go 30 more days. Gradually, your new habit will form, until you find yourself one of that wonderful minority to whom virtually nothing is impossible.

Above all ... don't worry! Worry brings fear, and fear is crippling. The only thing that can cause you to worry during your test is trying to do it all yourself. Know that all you have to do is hold your goal before you; everything else will take care of itself.

Take this 30-day test, then repeat it ... then repeat it again. Each time it will become more a part of you until you'll wonder how you could have ever have lived any other way. Live this new way and the floodgates of abundance will open and pour over you more riches than you may have dreamed existed. Money? Yes, lots of it. But what's more important, you'll have peace ... you'll be in that wonderful minority who lead calm, cheerful, successful lives.

Conflict strategies - key points video

2009-03-25T16:50:00.000Z

This is a snap shot of a course in action...
Key strategies and tips on how to defuse conflict.
This short conflict video was taken during one of our conflict management courses.

Library staff face increasing abuse from customers

2009-03-25T16:13:00.000Z

If you work in a library and face abuse from customers here are a few suggestions on how to handle them.

1) Don’t take the criticism personally. They’re not attacking you as a person but you as an employee representing a company that they perceive as cold and heartless.
2) Listen to the client. Let them tell their side. This will help the client calm down and think rationally. Meanwhile, you can buy some problem-solving time as you listen. Ask the client what he or she would do in your situation and how to prevent the problem from occurring in the future. Involving the customer shows you care about his or her needs and that you’re committed to customer service.
3) Treat the customer as you would want to be treated. Don’t pass the customer around. If you don’t know the answer to the problem, tell him or her that you’ll find the answer and call him or her back. Give the customer your name and contact information so that he or she can reach you if he or she has another problem.
4) Deal with the person and then with the problem. People often need to vent, regardless of whether you’re the appropriate target.
5) Remember that excellent customer service can be the means for retaining a client instead of losing one, so how you deal with your unhappy customers is crucial.

Useful for librarians, library staff, library researchers, library managers

Potential trouble spots for ambulance staff

2009-03-16T10:42:00.000Z

Thursday, February 26, 2009, 10:00

HUNDREDS of properties across the Westcountry have been flagged as potential trouble spots for ambulance staff.
Figures released by the South Western Ambulance Service Trust under Freedom of Information legislation showed it had notices on 729 addresses in Cornwall, Devon, Somerset and Dorset.
They include addresses where staff have been physically or verbally abused while on emergency calls.
In 2007-08 there were 38 reported assaults on ambulance staff down eight on the previous 12 months. It is feared many staff do not report incidents involving verbal abuse and aggression.
Chief executive Ken Wenman said: "Addresses where our staff are potentially at risk are flagged in order to protect them.

"The trust takes a zero tolerance approach to abuse towards any of its staff and will support the police in prosecuting assailants wherever possible. I cannot understand why anyone would want to abuse the very people there to treat and reassure them.
"All our staff play a vital role in serving their local communities and deserve to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity at all times and without exception."
The list, of domestic and commercial premises, included properties which were difficult to get to, patients with complex medical conditions and vulnerable adults.
Once a property or location has been flagged, crew are either sent further details directly to a screen in their vehicle, or called directly by an ambulance control colleague. Staff can then assess the situation to see if police back-up is required.
The trust said the number of addresses where crews required a police escort was "minimal".
It said it had introduced a number of measures and policies to protect staff, including a lone worker policy and violence and aggression policy.Details of Training available at http://www.conflict-training.org
The latest figures, including those from another nine ambulance services across the country, were released to Liberal Democrat health spokesman Norman Lamb.
He said: "It is unacceptable that such a large number of people are posing a threat to the safety of ambulance crews.
"NHS staff responding to emergencies and trying to save people's lives should be allowed to do their jobs without fear of violence or abuse. Tough action must taken when their safety is threatened.
"Protective body armour should be made available to all frontline ambulance staff, just as it is to the police."
Last month, two men were convicted of assaulting ambulance staff in separate incidents. Christopher Crossley, 19, of Red Cow Village, Exeter, pleaded guilty to common assault against paramedic Kevin Bowyer at Exeter Magistrates Court. Darren Pannell, 23, of Mead Cottages, Exmouth, was fined for assaulting an emergency care assistant.

Source this is western morning news

How to keep Housing Association lone workers safe.

2009-03-16T09:47:00.000Z

How to keep Housing Association lone workers safe.

Your responsibility under the Law

With the introduction of The Corporate Manslaughter and Homicide Act in 2007, there is now a practical, moral and legal imperative for organisations to protect their workers.

The Problem

The effect of even the threat of violence on workers can be extreme. It can lead to stress, anxiety and depression as well as a sense of failure and a loss of confidence. In turn, this can lead to stress-related health problems and sick-leave. Working days lost due to stress or depression in 2006/7 cost UK employers over £1 billion.*

Legally, a lone worker should not be put at any greater risk than any other employee. It is the employer’s duty to assess the risk to their staff and take appropriate measures to reduce it. An employer who has failed to take account of a foreseeable risk can be deemed to be negligent, with the cost of an investigation into a physical attack running into tens of thousands of pounds and potentially being prevented from trading..

* 56% of those in the NHS, Local Government and Housing Associations have experienced aggression at least once in their careers (approximately 10% of these experienced physical aggression).

Training

Lone worker training has been identified by the Health & Safety Executive as one of the most effective solutions to keeping workers safe.

Blue concept training have been working with employers since 2002 to train their staff to manage their safety more effectively. The training combines practical lone worker strategies with conflict management skills. http://www.conflict-training.org/lone.htm

One of the unique aspects of the training is that we recognise that many of our course participant’s have been working in a lone worker role for many years. During the course we utilize this depth of experience and look for what aspects of their current practice already keeps them safe. As trainers we work with the group and avoid ‘talking at them’. http://www.conflict-training.org

2009-03-06T12:34:00.001Z

What works

One of the exercises we do during our training is ask participants to think about a time when they were involved in a conflict solution that they resolved successfully. Why, because we want to begin to harvest strategies that work. If you think about it, during your life experience you will have dealt with all sorts of conflict situations. Many of those experiences will have led to successful resolution. For example when we live with other people, parents, family, spouse and friends it is inevitable that we will get involved in minor disagreements, however because we live amongst these people it is usually in our interest to find a solution, otherwise our life will become very difficult.
Why are these skills important? Quite simply these are transferable skills, these are important skills, that when you know what you do and how you do it, you can utilise the strategies in other areas of your life. http://www.conflict-training.org

Saying No with empathy

2009-03-06T12:32:00.000Z

Saying no with empathy

One of the potential times when a customer will become aggressive and unreasonable is when you have to say no. When you have the power to deny what a customer wants then this can be a trigger to escalate a conflict situation. How you say ‘no’ is key to the manner in which the customer receives the information.

Nobody likes to be told that they can’t have something, especially if we feel that we have a ‘right’ to it. Thinking back to the ‘top ten conflict management strategies’ in which we discussed some of the psychological important needs that we can satisfy. When saying no we can demonstrate, acknowledgement, empathy, options,

If you were on the receiving end of these statements which approach would you prefer?

“I’m sorry Mr X I am unable to help you because of the regulations”

Or

“Mr X, I understand that you are upset about this, unfortunately I can’t do anything about this today, however what I can suggest is…”

I am confident that you would prefer the second approach wouldn’t you.

Think about how you say ‘No’, what is the impact on the customer and how would you prefer to be informed if you were on the receiving end?
http://www.conflict-training.org

Perception - how it effects conflict situations

2009-03-06T12:27:00.000Z

Self-talk and judgement affects how you deal with people.

What we think internally about the person we are dealing with will effect how we manage the interaction and thus the outcome.

If when approached by a customer with an issue, sometimes you may think to yourself, ‘here we go again, another so and so who has an….[unrealistic demand/request/issue/claim etc.]. You may have heard the same story over and over recently and you may not understand why it is important to this person. http://www.conflict-training.org/customers.htm

Sometimes you may be thinking…
"Another layabout, another cheapskate after a discount, another green person, another rich person throwing their weight about, another…"

It is at this time we have to try and look at the situation from the other persons’ point of view, in fact if we can it is helpful to step into the other persons' shoes. We have all been in situations when we have been frustrated by another person’s actions, a person who holds some power over us in some way. I have a question for you, how would you have liked to be treated? Can you pay the person in front of you the same courtesy? When you are truly professional you will have the ability to do this regardless of the situation.

Perhaps it would be useful to imagine that this person is someone you care about. If the person you are helping is old then think of them as your Granny, if they are young think of them as your daughter. I am sure that if this was the case you might treat them differently.

Ask yourself what would I do in their situation, how would I feel and how would I like to be treated?
http://www.conflict-training.org/

Request to speak to the manager

2009-03-06T12:25:00.000Z

"I want to see a manger"

I am sure that you have had this request a few times. There are a number of responses that I would like you to consider.

· You could fetch the manager – sometime this will defuse the situation. In fact if you dressed up the janitor in a manger’s uniform and produced them, the fact that the customer feels they have been listened to by someone more senior can take the steam out of the situation.

· Tell the customer that the manager is not available but reiterate that you wish to help them and immediately repeat how you can solve the situation and what the next step is.

· If you are the most senior person, then convey this to the customer, re-clarify the situation offering options if possible, e.g. “I can assure you that I will relay your request to ‘X’ and if you wish to take this issue further you can contact/write letter etc.

· Ask the customer if they could speak to a manger what would the say/expect to achieve.(Very often their request will be similar to what they are asking of you). At this point you can attempt to do what you can to solve the situation.

When you vary your behavior you will get different results, the more approaches that you try the more you will learn.
Agree with them, even if you just agree that they are in a particular state

When we hear that someone agrees with us we feel justified, listened too, valued and in the right. This will have the effect of defusing a situation. We are not suggesting that you agree that the customer is right if they are not. However you can agree with one aspect of the situation, you can agree that they are in a certain state. So for example, if the customer is angry or upset you can acknowledge this by simply saying, “I can see that you are very angry/upset about this situation.” Now the customer feels acknowledged and that in some way you empathise with the situation, you can now negotiate in a more cooperative environment.
Remember, use these new techniques on easy customers please avoid practising your skills on the steamrollers. Build up your skills like you would your muscles in the gym. When you are proficient and strong then and only then should you use them on hostile customers. http://www.conflict-training.org

Communication style

2009-03-06T12:23:00.000Z

Are you submissive, aggressive, or assertive?

Your typical behaviour in terms of whether you are submissive, aggressive, assertive will clearly have a massive impact on how you handle a situation.

Some people have a very accurate idea of how they typically respond in a conflict situation others less so. It is also worth recognising that our behaviour will alter depending on, with whom and the nature of the relationship we have with the person we are dealing with. For example we may deal with our boss in a totally different way to how we interact with a customer.

I want to highlight some of the typical behaviours exhibited by an assertive person so that you can match it up with your own experience and make a comparison.

When a person is acting assertively they will verbalise their needs and put themselves first, using ‘I’ sentences e.g. I feel, I need, I would prefer etc.

People acting assertively will be solution orientated rather than looking to blame; you see, what you focus on will define the outcome. Fixing the blame will only provoke entrenched positions.

When acting assertively we are open to hearing the other person’s side of the story and willing to explore how the issue affects them.

Think about the language you use and be curious about what it says about your natural style. If you wish to be more assertive then remember to verbalise your needs in a positive, direct way. Sarcasm is the poorest form of assertion!

How to remain calm

2009-03-06T12:14:00.000Z

Breathe

On our courses you will learn a staggeringly effective, yet simple technique to remain calm. When we are threatened in some way and a conflict situation usually constitutes as a threat, our body will immediately react and resort to ‘fight or flight’ mode. One of the key physiological reactions of the ‘fight or flight’ state is that our breathing becomes shallow and laboured. This causes an innate feeling of anxiety or panic, this is not a good state to be in when you are trying to remain calm.

One way in which we can manage our physiological state and thus remain calm is be conscious of our breathing. If we are aware of our breathing pattern and take steps to breathe deeply and calmly our responses will be measured and intelligent. It is interesting that some course participants claim that a cigarette is one way they use to calm down, well when you think about it one of the things that a person does when the inhale on a cigarette is they take deep long calming breathes!

Next time you are involved in a conflict be mindful of your breathing, if you want to learn the full technique then join one of our courses. http://www.conflict-training.org

Let them vent!

2009-03-06T12:12:00.000Z

Let them vent

When you are faced with a very angry customer who is venting their spleen, (verbal expression of anger/issues), it is really important to let them finish and not to interrupt. This is because an interruption can be interpreted in many ways, all of them negative. They may think that you are attempting to talk over them, that you are not listening, that you are dismissive of their issue or that you are a bureaucratic machine and not a real person; these are examples of just a few conclusions. By listening and remaining silent you can let the customer run out of steam leaving you able to begin to solve the issue when they have less energy. Another advantage is that if you do not interrupt, the customer will have less reason to escalate the conflict. http://www.conflict-training.org/customers.htm
Pleases note if the customer is verbally abusive to you then you have to consider what your tolerance level is and what personal boundaries you chose to enforce and how. http://www.conflict-training.org/